At the beginning of a relationship, romance seems to be the key to drawing us in. The sweetness and the shared affection for one another makes us consider if we want to continue the relationship or not.
This is the time in a relationship where you bring your A game to the table. You are looking to show your romantic partner that you can give them what they want. But can you keep this up? Potentially forever?
Of course you want this person to like you but will that be accomplished solely with love notes and flowers? Anyone can do that but what about showing that person the respect they deserve? That lasts far longer than any bouquet of flowers ever could.
Anyone Can Go Through The Motions Of Being Romantic
I had an ex that was romantic in the beginning. He would buy me gifts, whisper sweet things in my ear, and was an excellent lover. He won me over with this behavior because he knew exactly what I wanted to hear.
He was romantic when he needed to be and he had me fooled that he loved me for a very long time. This is what they call a “love bomb". When a partner senses that you are upset with them and are seeing the real them, they suddenly become loving and romantic to try to get you to forget why you’re mad at them.
Love bombing is very manipulative behavior. Why is this person only “romantic” when they feel you are slipping away from them? Don’t you deserve more than that? Shouldn’t you feel loved and respected all of the time?
Love Bombing Is Short Lived and Disrespect Continues
His love bombs won me over a few times until I realized that him “changing" was short lived. He would change just enough to make me think he was making an effort. Then the disrespect would creep back in.
I finally had to realize that he did not love or respect me. Sure, he could be really romantic and sweet but only when he had to be. He thought he could do whatever he wanted, even if it upset me, as long as he could make it up to me later. Don’t ask for permission, ask for forgiveness was his motto.