I read this yesterday but I was on my phone and couldn’t respond (I really wish they would fix that). I wanted to come back and say how much I needed to read this.
My ex and the father of my children struggled with this addiction. We were together 7 years. He died 2 years ago from complications from drug abuse. I never knew why we weren’t good enough for him to quit.
Now I sort of see how that draw and the feelings that come with it could be better than the day to day life of family. So, thank you for opening my eyes to that!
I long suspected that his drug use was just prolonged suicide (I wrote about it but I won’t link because I don’t want to take away from your story). I think he wanted to die but didn’t want to be the one to pull the trigger so to speak.
Once again, thank you for sharing your experience. It brought me some comfort to know that there wasn’t much more that I could have done to pull him away from all of that.